Three years. I hadn’t been to the dentist in three years. Turns out, they won’t let you go when you’re pregnant; and, I’ve spent a lot of time either pregnant or in a postpartum haze. Normally, I would be pretty excited about the prospects of professional teeth cleaning; I just love that slippery clean tooth […]Read more "Brush Your Damn Teeth"
If only I had a genie like Shimmer and Shine (3 wishes EVERY day!), these are things I’d ask for: Fancy Pants- look like jeans, compress like Spanx and fit like pajama pants. Because you can’t wear yoga pants all the time Never ending coffee cup- always full, always the right temperature. Cream & sugar, […]Read more "I Know What Moms Like, I Know What Moms Want"
Sometimes, parenting stinks. While I could do a whole post on the metaphorical ways parenting sometimes stinks, this one is all about the literal. And I’m #soblessed that I wouldn’t dare insinuate that life with kids is anything other than unicorns, rainbows and Elsa popsicles. I TRY not to be the stinky one. I use […]Read more "What’s That Smell?"
Everything I know in life about parenting I learned from raising my three kids. “Three kids?!” you say. That should make you an expert. I’d like to think so, but that’s a big N-O. I’ve learned that just when you think you know what you’re doing, the next one changes everything up. What worked for […]Read more "Parenting Expert"
I lied. I didn’t tell you what I was doing. I’ve never done anything like this before. Really, I did it for your own good. I bought the french fries with the hidden vegetables inside. The broccoli fries. And you liked them. You liked every bite. Did I feel a little wrong, a little dirty, […]Read more "A Freezer Full of Lies"
I fantasize about leaving my husband… but not for the reasons you’d think. My husband works very long hours. I work two days a week but am currently on maternity leave with our third child. His schedule essentially leaves me as the sole childcare provider to our 2 year, 3 year, and 6 week old […]Read more "My Shitty Weekend. Or, Why I Fantasize About Leaving My Husband"
Not long ago, I was discussing car road trips with a friend and memories of the game “Would You Rather” got my mama mind racing. I love games and I love wine (and margaritas) and even more so, the beautiful love child of the two– the drinking game. So, I created the “Never Have I Ever” […]Read more "Never Have I Ever: Parenthood Edition"