Not long ago, I was discussing car road trips with a friend and memories of the game “Would You Rather” got my mama mind racing. I love games and I love wine (and margaritas) and even more so, the beautiful love child of the two– the drinking game.
So, I created the “Never Have I Ever” drinking game: Parenthood Edition. The rules are simple, if you have never done something, then you’re in the clear, If you have, then you drink away the shame.
Here we go. Never Have I Ever:
1. Played the “is this poop or chocolate on my finger?” Russian Roulette game
2. Yelled, “that’s it. No one is allowed to speak… at all… anymore.”
3. Considered ketchup a vegetable.
4. Eaten the half- gnawed on chicken nugget, three grapes and moist carrot stick left on your toddlers plate and called it lunch.
5. Wondered briefly if you might have accidentally mated with the devil, not your husband, 10 months before your little angel was born.
6. Hidden in the pantry stuffing cheesy poofs down your throat then hurriedly wiping away the bright orange evidence before your preschooler spots it.
7. Yelled, “who the hell calls (or rings the doorbell) at 2 pm!!” when it wakes the baby
8. Found yourself sitting alone on the couch engrossed in an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with no children to be seen.
9. Considered playing in the sprinkler “good enough” for bath day.
10. You’ve done any of the above and then looked at your partner and suggested trying for another baby.
So, there you have it. Play, drink, and be merry; because, tomorrow, you’ll feel like you’ve died (when the toddler is up at 5 am asking for Mickey and ketchup).